Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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