the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
