i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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