please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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