where am i from again
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
