can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
