this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize