I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
