:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You can't special order awesome
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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