dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
