arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
