i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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