Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
