i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
