What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
