Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
