Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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