have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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