There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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