is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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