party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
