i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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