i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
