Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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