Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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