You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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