Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
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The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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