he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
tell me about the eggs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
