apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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