i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
