Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
