The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
