I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
