i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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