I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Randomize