soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
