I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
