even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Found your dick twin last night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
