Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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