Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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