I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
