Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
