He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize