I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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