Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
