Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I want is dick and wine.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
