I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
