OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
