so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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