i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize