I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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