I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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