so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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