So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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