By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
