Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
