I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize