I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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