If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
