she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
