You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
