Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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