dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
