During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
