how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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