totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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