..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
